Behind my mind

Sometimes I feel like not going to work...just to stay in bed and curl some more and just not rush things. Take things slowly as they come and enjoy every bit of things that happen to me and to relish each second. To feign sickness and tell my boss I'm down with a cold or chilling with fever or swelling with allergy.

But then every time that thought crosses my mind, I remember the countless things I need to do at work –the things that needs to be done, the deadlines that should be met, the people that should be talked to, the work that should be followed up, the reports to write and so many other things that the second I think of curling up in bed some more, I become ashamed of myself for thinking that I thought of missing work and wasting my hours.

But sometimes it just feels like I am wasting my life behind my mind. I feel like this isn't really what exploring my potential should be. I should be out there, experiencing the world, meeting people, learning about different cultures. And then I realize why I am working. I am working toward this end. I am working to save money and maybe enjoy it someday. But then who knows how I will live? Who knows if I can live to that day when I'll enjoy the fruits of my labor - the child of my X years behind this small world?

They say one should live his or her days as if it were his or her last. But if it were my last day today, I wish I can travel around the world, exploring, digressing, inhaling air from those parts of the world and not letting myself rot here in this job. Today, I am beaten and I feel old. I'm turning 25 on September and it feels like I am getting old...